SugarSleep DeprivationPokemonThis
by TheLuckyTNTSkeleton
Summary: Rated T for teens because of some words and stuff. um okay, so this eight year old kid gets stuck in Pokemon Diamond/Pearl unfortunately for him he knows nothing about Pokemon. The story eludes to some canon characters that are... well, you'll get it when you read it. Also pretty much all characters are OOC... It's a humor based story. Have fun with that


This is the product of what happens when you have a lot of sugar, are playing either pokemon pearl or pokemon diamond, and trying to become inspired for a story at the same time.

this story is also on my Wattpad account, though sadly it is a censored version because the Wattpad filter is weird and won't tell me what words it doesn't like. Anyway, enjoy the one-shot. Also, while I'm at I may as well mention that it was a complete coincidence that the main character of this story has the same name as one of the guys from south park. this character is not a south park character. I don't even watch that show.

**The world faded into blue as my eyes opened, there was a man wearing dark blue pants, grey shoes a white shirt, and a blue vest over it with a funny hair style and white moustache standing in front of me, and my first thought was ****_oh my god this guy is a pedo. _****But then he introduced himself with, "Hello there, it's so very nice to meet you! Welcome to the world of Pokémon! My name is professor Rowan, but here, everyone calls me the Pokémon professor" after those words were spoken my thoughts changed drastically****_ okay, this guy is definitely a pedo._**

**"Before I go any further, is this your first adventure?" he continued as he blinked at me with his eyes that seemed to have hardly had any colour in them. For a moment my eight year old mind processed his words, and then it hit me. ****_Oh my fucking god. He's going to fucking rape me!_**** I stood frozen like a deer caught in the head lights not even flinching; ****_well at least he had the decency to ask if it was my first time._**** I thought, trying to distract myself at the fate that was coming for me. Mom was right, those porn sites really would come back to get me in the future. I just didn't think it would happen so soon.**

**"If you need advice, I'm certainly capable of giving it." The prof said as a friendly smile crossed his face, ****_he's done this more than once?!_**** I thought with horror imagining all the others before me losing their virginity at such a young age. "Er n-no" I said. It was so weird hearing my voice after all this time had passed, "this world is widely inhabited by creatures known as Pokémon. Here, I have a Poké ball." The man held out his hand to show me the red and white ball,****_ where is he getting at?_**** Touch the button on the middle of the Poké ball if you'd please." I did as he asked and a fat short monster popped out with a flash of white light.**

**"What's that thing?" I stated simply. "We humans live alongside Pokémon as friends. At times we play together and at other times, we work together." Who was this guy? My teacher? "Some people use their Pokémon to battle and develop closer bonds with them. What do I do?" he asked his rhetorical question. "You rape innocent people." I said bluntly letting him know that I figured out his secret.**

**But he continued his drawling speech as if I never said anything, "I conduct research so that we may learn more about Pokémon. "Like where their vagina is?" I let my thoughts flow out of my mouth now. The blue and yellow thingy disappeared inside the 'Poké ball' as Rowan said, "Now why don't you tell me a little bit about yourself?" I stared at him blankly, hoping that I wouldn't have to say much.**

**"Are you a boy? Or are you a girl?" he asked seemingly sincerely, for a moment I was offended, I was obviously a boy, why would he ask such a stupid question?! "Are you blind?! I'm a boy you dumbass!" **

**"Alright so you're a boy?"**

**"Well do I have breasts?"**

**"Tell me, what is your name?"**

**"Kyle." I said angrily**

**"Your name is Kyle?" the old man asked as if he was disgusted by the letters strung together.**

**"You got a problem with that?"**

**"Ok… so your name is Kyle? What a fine name that is!" said the professor changing his tone back to the more overly creepy one he had used before. "Now this boy here … I believe he's your friend" said the old man as he handed me a photo of a kid with a bad hair cut, he was blonde with brown eyes, an orange and white striped shirt, blue jeans brown shoes and the same colour bag as his shoes. I knew this kid, but he wasn't my friend. He was older than me by two years and he was the rudest bastard I had ever met. "what might his name be?" **

**_Your guess is as good as mine_**** I knew him but I didn't know him well. "Larry." I said. It was better than nothing. "Larry is it? That's your friends name?" "Oh for god's sake, yes!" I nearly screamed at him in annoyance. "All right, Kyle, the time has come." I took a deep breath, I really didn't want to do this, but there was nowhere to run to, maybe I could kick him in the balls when he got too close. "You're very own tale of grand adventure is about to unfold." **

**"Yeah it'll be grand for you."**

**"On your journey, I'm sure that you will meet countless Pokémon and people." ****_Great. He's going to jack me up with drugs THEN rape me. Could this day get any worse?_**** Along the way you will discover many things, perhaps even something about yourself." ****_Like maybe, if an old man likes the size of my penis?_**** "now go on, leap into the world of Pokémon!" he cried enthusiastically Then everything went dark.**

**Well fuck.**

**A few moments passed and I found myself staring at a TV screen, it was a report about some red Gyarados, what the hell was a Gyarados? I left the TV and checked my laptop that was sitting nearby all it gave me was information about Pokémon, which by the way, I didn't know what that was, my internet was gone, my E-mail account, everything was gone, I was especially upset about the game I bought yesterday, I couldn't remember what it was called, I just knew it had shooting. Lots and lots of shooting.**

**My Wii was still there but there was no plug, so it was useless. "What have they done to my room?!" I cried, there was a plant in the corner, I threw it downstairs, I never owned a plant, so I didn't see why I couldn't destroy it. I stormed downstairs and found mom sitting there watching TV, completely oblivious to the mess at the bottom of the stairs. I was over joyed to see her after all I was scared shitless about what just happened, and I needed someone to give me my sanity back, and what better person than my mother? But when she saw me she stood up and went over to me "Kyle! Barry came calling for you a little while a go, I don't know what it was about, but he said it was an emergency." Then she stopped talking and went over to sit on her ass again.****_ Oh… so it was Barry not Larry…_**

**"Oh my god! Mom! I was kidnapped by an old man and he was talking some shit about pokemon, don't ask me what that is because I don't know, and I think he drugged me! and… and, I think we should call the police" the words bubbled out of my mouth in a rush I was hardly thinking about what I was saying, at the end of my story I expected her to be horrified that I even knew what the word 'shit' meant. But to my dismay she just repeated the same thing she said before. Did she even care?!**

**What did she expect me to do anyway? I was eight. And why would I care what happened to that bimbo? I was hungry so wordlessly, and sickened by the reaction I went to check out the fridge, I didn't want to think about why our pantry wasn't there anymore. I found moms favourite dessert in the freezer other than that, the fridge was totally empty. 'hey mom, where's all the food?" She didn't answer, she just continued to stare at the screen in front of her, talk about neglective parents. I checked the bench to find no drawers but the kitchen looked new. How could my own mother not notice her kitchen had been replaced? I stood in front of Mom and waved my arms around, I poked her, pinched her, I was even considering dumping the soil pot and plant on her head, but I couldn't do that to her.**

**Something was seriously wrong here.**

**Really wrong.**

**I headed for the door afraid of what I would find beyond it, and then I felt a hand tap my shoulder. I flinched, but then I realized it was just Mom. "Oh yes, Kyle, don't go into the tall grass. Wild Pokémon might attack you." She paused as if mulling it over "it would be okay if you had your own Pokémon, but you don't so…" she trailed off and was still standing up. "Mom?" I said when I noticed the way she stared at me "Are you still eating those Brownies that Mrs Carter gave you on Christmas?" I asked hoping that the answer was yes, it was no secret she laced the brownies with weed. As I'd expected, she didn't answer me, so I took a deep breath and opened the door.**

**The scene that greeted me was not one that I welcomed. They'd even gone as far as replacing the town! Where was Wal-Mart? Where was that fish and chips place? I heard the door close shut on its own as I stood mouth agape at this… this country like landscape. Gravel paths stretched around the land. And the houses were all identical I hurriedly ran up to someone aimlessly walking around near a pond I didn't know him but as soon as I got close enough to talk to him he spouted bull shit about how technology blew him away and how now we could connect with people around the world. "wait, you have internet?! Please! I don't know what's going on here but I need to fucking use your internet!"**

**Just like mom, this stranger ignored me I saw no point in asking him again so I swivelled around and busted into the house directly across from… mine? Inside was an old lady and a little kid, the room was practically bare and not fit to be called a home, there was a T.V a cabinet a blue carpet in the middle of the room with a table and a single window. That was all. I went to talk to the old person to ask her for information, not surprisingly she took this as an opportunity to start the conversation. "Did you hear?" she warbled I sighed as she spoke her sentence "the pokemon professor returned to the next town over. They say he was gone for four long years. I wonder if he found some amazing Pokémon while he was gone?" "I honestly don't give a fuck." I replied to her menacingly, I walked over to the girl with absolutely no hope "Hey listen listen Kyle! I want a cute Pokémon!" she chirped as I was about to turn away "wait. You know me?" I growled in frustration as I realized she wouldn't answer. "Bitch." I cursed with venom in my voice. I shoved the door open and didn't find the decency in myself to close it. It didn't matter anyway, some magical forces that defied physics did it for me.**

**I continued up the path to find a sign haphazardly stuffed into the dirt, the words were badly painted and some letters were missing but I could still make it out, "twin leaf town Fresh and free…" I read aloud "what kind of town would name itself twin leaf town? There aren't even any real damn trees! I examined the picture next to the words, it looked like an unfinished game of naughts and crosses I found a rock on the ground nearby and scratched in the top line and appointed myself as both of the players finishing it in under a minute. It was then that I realized that the picture was actually a map of the town, showing the house I first found myself in and another one up on the left.**

**I walked up to the house and it was exactly like mine. Two storeys high and a mail box. I was about to open the door when some jerk bumped into me I groaned and fell back from the impact I was about to ask what his problem was except he interrupted me. "what was that about?!"**

**"La- I mean Barry?!"**

**"Oh, hey, Kyle. Hey I'm going to the lake! You come too! And be quick about it!"**

**"What? I… no! You cant tell me what to do!" I looked at Barry for a second longer after I said those words, he seemed to be acting like everyone else, but something just didn't sit right with me but I shrugged off the feeling as I was once again forced to listen to another person's problems. "Ok Kyle? I'm fining you one million bucks if you're late!" he said it slowly, as if I was mentally challenged and he was trying to get me to understand him. Before I could say anything else the little shit started to run off but then he doubled back before explaining that he forgot something and slammed the door in my face. I followed in after him hoping to find some clues about this place.**

**The room that I looked at was basically a mirror image of where I first ended up, I went over to who I assumed was Barry's Mom and let her start her drawl, only to be quickly bored and leave her talking to no one, I trudged upstairs to find Barry in a once again mirror imaged room mumbling to himself he turned around and noticed me standing there "Were going to the lake!" he stupidly re stated in an overly chirpy voice "I'll be waiting on the road! It's ten million bucks if you're late" I rolled my eyes as I stepped aside for him to pass ****_I'm not giving you anything _****I thought yawning while I went back down stairs.**

**I walked up the trail to find Barry just ahead so I mockingly went as slow as I could be bothered. As soon as I got within arm's length of him he began to talk about a news report. ****_what? Oh, that Gyrados thingy_****. I zoned out for the rest of the one sided conversation thinking about gravy. "… wer'e gonna go find a Pokémon like that." I heard Barry say as I came back to the abomination of a town I didn't know was a part of earth. **

**"Alright! Let's move out! Hustle up!" Barry seemed to want me to lead but I didn't know where the lake was, from the way the town seemed, the lake was probably one of those inflatable pools. I chuckled at the thought but at the same time I shuddered noticeably. I turned right to where some green tall grass was standing. It seemed to be the most likely place for a lake to be a head of so I walked over that way, intending to go through. But as soon as I was about to take my first step in, a reedy voice reminded me what my deluded mother said. It wasn't my voice, and Barry or the guy walking around in the grass didn't react "what the hell?"**

**That's when it occurred to me: I must be crazy. It all made a lot of sense, this place was ridiculous, no place would exist like this on earth. The thought of me being insane calmed me a bit. But where the crap did this place come from? My brain? Possibly. Or maybe it was from one of those educational shows my dad used to make me watch. **

**I changed my course and turned left after passing a rock wall and a lot of plastic trees I moved up and found a patch of gravel before a tree. There seemed to be an opening, so I moved on through but then Barry interrupted me. "Alright! To the lake! Let's find us a red Gyrados!" there was that word again. Gyrados. Before I could say anything Barry turned me around and shoved me through the opening. "You jerk!" I complained as I stumbled forward a step. "what's going on…?" asked Barry, "what do you mean what's going on you turd?! You shoved me thr-" I stopped in my explanation and looked up, there in the grass was a strangely familiar man and a not so familliar woman. Well, teenager. Standing side by side talking.**

**"Professor, there isn't anything out of the ordinary on the other side, either!"**

**"Hmmm… I may have been mistaken… something appears to be different than it was before, but… Fine! It's enough that we have seen the lake. Dawn we're leaving." Said the old man as he turned to face his companion.**

**"Professor, how are you enjoying being back in Sinnoh? After being away for so many years it must be exciting again?"**

**My brain clicked. I had a score to settle with this guy I was about to call out until I had just realized what his companion, Dawn, had said. so this guy travels around the world and rapes people after giving them his illegal drug called Pokémon? This person was truly disgusting. Probably worse than my dog. "…Hm. There is one thing I can say, there are many rare types of Pokémon in Sinnoh. The region should serve us very well in regard to our studies." With those last words I had gathered some information I didn't want to know. Dawn was the old mans sex slave. They were just talking about sex and drugs. And there was more than one type of the drug in a place called Sinnoh. But then I remembered I was insane, so none of this was real.**

**With those last words the two walked back the way we came as the old man passed I managed to sneak a punch on his arm but he didn't even yelp, which wasn't satisfying at all "I beg your pardon, we'll be on our way." Said dawn as she walked through. "Slut" I said through a fake cough. When she was gone Barry spoke up. "What was that about? Those two…" I had never face palmed so hard before in my life. Barry turned around and then said "huh? Kyle! Let's go check this out!" he then turned to me and pretty much sarcastically said "huh? What's that? Don't go into the tall grass? No problem, no problem! We won't be in there long enough for a wild pokemon to come out."**

**There was the feeling again. The feeling that he was just pretending. Anyway with that said he walked up to the tall grass and I noticed a brief case. It was probably holding drugs or drug money I stayed well back in case it was a drug trap that would spray into the air, like in that one movie. I didn't need to get high on a day like this. "it's a brief case… Those people forgot it here? What are we supposed to do with it?" I clapped slowly and sarcastically stated "wow. Look at the kid, he's a freaking genius, someone hurry up and give him the nobel prize." Ignoring me completely Barry continued, "we can try to deliver it, but who are they? I heard them say professor…" soon after Barry stated what had just happened moments before, three birds came out of no where and swooped us.**

**After squealing like a little baby Barry started to speak what was close to English again. "Po-Pokémon? What's going on?!" after hearing this I managed to make eye contact with one of the birds. So this was a Pokémon? Well they couldn't have made that any more obvious. Barry opened the case in a hurry, inside were three red and white balls, I flashed back to the old man and the weird fat thing that came out of it. "Look! These are poke balls! Let's battle using these!" Barry said hurriedly. Without thinking I snatched the one in the middle and pushed the button with my thumb, the ball shook and slipped out of my hand releasing what appeared to be some sort of monkey. So the animals of this world were referred to as Pokémon… I turned the open ball to face me and studied it. "how does that monkey fit inside this tiny ball?" a bird, seeing I was distracted went straight for my eye, seemingly instinctively the orange monkey scratched the living shit out of the bird until it fell to the ground.**

**"Whoa…" I looked at the monkey who appeared to be waiting for something, it's eyes seemed to hold an eagerness to pummel these noticeably strange birds into the ground. "Okay little weird monkey! Crush those birds' bones!" with that the animal raced off to murder a second bird while Barry flailed around like a moron. I turned around to see the monkey had come back with a hunger to do it again. I bent down and pat it on the head. "Good little mutant monkey" I said before Barry turned to me and said the monkey was called a 'chimchar' and his penguin was called a 'Piplup' wow… I really am insane. After Barry took my silence as an excuse to start talking about how these weird super powered animals belonged to someone else I chose to ignore him, being told what you should and shouldn't do when you're insane isn't fun.**

**Just when I thought he was finished the teenager that was with the old man appeared out of nowhere and without acknowledging that we existed she approached the brief case. "Oh! There's the brief case! The professor would have been furious if I'd lost it…" she then stopped and looked at both of us as if we were thieves. "Huh? Oh no! Did you… did you use the pokemon in here?" she looked at me expecting an answer; any normal person would have asked the guy standing next to you that was clearly older than you. But no. she looked at me. I shrugged hoping that would be a sufficient enough answer, wait a minute… she was talking to me, like actually responding to what I said… this was a revelation. This was proven when she said "you did?! Oh my gosh! What is the professor going to say…?"**

**"Probably something perverted." I interjected I swear I saw her eyes grow wider, but she didn't say anything, instead she continued "this is so not good… I'll take the brief case for now…" and she did just that, and silently walked away, I yawned and waited for Barry to say something stupid. "what was that about?" he asked no one in particular he never let me down when It came to stupid remarks. "I don't know what's going on Kyle, let's get out of here!" was he serious? He was standing right there next to me and he didn't get anything from that at all? I am sure calling him a moron would be offensive to morons so I'll have to think of something else. "My Pokémon got hurt from that Kyle, if we get attacked by another Pokémon we might be in trouble." I sighed and took another look at the monkey or Chimchar as it is apparently called, and brought it back inside the tiny ball that also defied… whatever it was defying.**

**Barry then took the lead up until the entrance "you go ahead Kyle, I know we have to return these Pokémon. They're not ours, but I want to spend just a little more time with this little guy…" yawning or the millionth time that day, I back tracked to the road to find the old man and the teenager blocking the rest of the way. "Yeah, really convenient guys, because no one is trying to get through over here." The old man turned to us "is that old guy staring at us?"**

**"Yeah I think so, and I don't like the way he's doing it." The old geezer approached me and 'hmmmd' and 'hawed' like there was no tomorrow "I heard from dawn that you used our Pokemon?" I looked past father time and glared at dawn, the little snitch. "Let me see them please. Chimchar and Piplup… I see… that's how it is…" he then turned to his assistant, "Dawn!" she jumped at the harshness in his voice "I'm going back to my lab!" he said as if it was an indication for her to follow, "um… yes! Professor please wait for me!" but it was easy to tell even after she had said those words that he had no intention of slowing down. Dawn turned to us "I think you should visit our lab later… ok! See you!" then she went running. "What was all that craziness about?" I flinched when he asked that question. "Barry, do me a favour and for the good of humanity, please shut up" I could understand that the guy had a lot less brain than the under average person, but I Was so sick of his mindless chatter.**

**Surprisingly, he had nothing more to say, so I went back to what acted as my home with Barry following behind me like a puppy. After a while of watching my mom pace the kitchen floor she moved over into the lounge, I followed her trying to get her attention "what's up dear?" she asked. Dear? My mom never said dear she said it made her feel old. "Oh wow, that really happened to you? Am I ever glad that both you and Barry were un harmed." I looked at her dumbfounded "you know, a hug is always nice too." I said hoping that maybe she would. "The professor you mentioned is most likely professor rowan of sandgem town, I've heard that he is well known for his studies on Pokémon. I hear he's also quite intimidating." ****_Finally, something makes sense here! _****"Kyle, I think you should visit him in sandgem town, you need to properly explain why you had no choice but to use his Pokémon." I gave her a look that she mistook for uncertainty "don't worry! I'm sure he will understand." With that I wandered over to the door and left, trying not to freak out about what just happened. ****_Why am I playing along with this crazy shit, I should be running for my life right about now!_**

**I didn't notice at first, but as time drew on I noticed I was starting to play along with everything perhaps I was doing it right from the start, I've been doing what I've been told the moment I left the house. Even though I said I wouldn't see Barry, I walked right up to his house and pretty much asked what to do next. And now that I think about it, everyone has been telling me what to do, and I've done it. Even Barry. No! I wasn't going to do that anymore, I wasn't going to the professors lab, I was leaving. I didn't even know if I could get out but at the very least I could try.**


End file.
